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هانا فتاة ذات شعر اسود و عينين بنفسجيتين وبشرة بيضاء تحب الانمي و الرسم و قراءة الروايات و اللون البنفسجي الفاتح ليون فتى ذو شعر ابيض طويل و عينين حمراوتين طبيب مع تطور الأحداث يحب هانا ويليام فتى ذو شعر احمر متوسط و عينين حمراوتين وبشرة سمراء سيصبح خادم هانا لكنه سيبدو كاخيها و هو صديق ليون فيكتور فتى ذو شعر رمادي مزرق و عينين زرقاء و هو طبيب و صديق ليون مزعج لكنه يهتم لعمله و لطيف و يحب المزاح لقد كان والد هانا يضربها كثيرا و في يوم من الأيام قد كان جسدها مليئا بالجروح العميقة و لقد هربت من بيتها و وجدها احد ملقاة على الشارع فاخذها الى المشفى و ليون كان على رعايتها و لقد كان جسدها ساخن جدا فوضعوها في حوض مليئ بالماء البارد و الثلج و دخل معها ليون و خيط جروحها

Sweaty armpit

رسالة حب لصديقة غالية

26 | sick Warning: It's not smut, but... it might be uncomfortable to read clears throat

I close the book on my lap, shut my eyes, and throw my head back against the headboard of my bed. For this past hour, I've been trying to read something related to my work but can't focus. What happened inside the painting room yesterday lingers in my mind, and I can't go to sleep. Tonight's going to be a long one. My mind goes crazy. Seeing what was written on Olivia's card again angers me but it doesn't bother me as much as seeing Nevaeh's teary eyes when I told her to leave. Now, it's the only thing that I can think about. I run my fingers through my hair and curse. Fuck . I hate this. I hate this restlessness inside me. I hate this feeling . This has been triggering me for quite a while, and it becomes more obvious the more I spend time with Nevaeh. I remember feeling something I shouldn't have. My heart raced. I became nervous. I got... excited. "Fuck." This time, I curse out loud. I still remember how nauseous I was when two girls clung to me in the club the night I met Alex. I'm very sure that I wanted to throw up. But strangely, I felt the exact opposite when my eyes landed on Neva-- Fuck . This realization makes me want to laugh in disbelief. Indeed, I had a boner once when she was around. I had a fucking boner. It doesn't make any sense. For these past two years, I've seen attractive women approaching me and I feel nothing. On the other hand, Nevaeh is just a girl. She's not even a woman. Goddammit , she's even younger than my little sister. What the heck is going on? I can't feel something like this only for her. I can't be turned on only by her. My gaze darts on my laptop sitting on my desk in the corner of my room. This might be ridiculous, but I need to see something. Maybe, I'm not that fucked up anymore. I walk to my desk, open my laptop, and let out a long sigh. OK. Here we go. What am I going to do now? Right. W atching porn. I'm going to watch porn. I can't even remember the last time I watched porn. Hell, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. Reluctantly, I type the web address that half of the population of the world knows, and a lot of videos show up. Now I'm starting to think that I'm indeed fucked up, because a horrible feeling starts to stir inside me. Hell, no . I need to prove something. I scroll through the web page. There are a lot of options for me. I'm just going to find one that sounds most interesting. A secretary giving a nice BJ. No . MILF getting railed by the gardener. No . Pizza delivery guy and a cute brunette. No . College girl with an older man. #tutoring The last one seems... quite tempting. I don't know why, but I click it. The video plays, and I watch it, hoping that I would feel something. The flow is okay. It starts with the girl entering the man's house and him inviting her to sit on the couch. The girl looks at him dreamily under her lashes. She has those fuck-me-eyes and the man has ' horny ' written all over his face. There's no doubt that they can't wait to fuck each other. And I watch. Quietly. Too quietly. The horrible feeling inside me becomes worse. I feel nauseous, just like I always do every time I see this kind of intimacy. Sick . I feel sick . Nothing else. I don't feel horny. I don't feel turned on. I feel the worst kind of feeling. I'm so close to vomiting that I don't even bother to stop the video. I immediately close the laptop with a loud thud and find that my hands are already shaking uncontrollably. Fuck . I storm into my bathroom and throw up into the sink. I can't even reach the toilet. I turn on the water until full capacity and keep throwing up. My chest heaves up and down rapidly, and the sound of my coughs echoes loudly inside the bathroom. I'm a fucking mess. I'm indeed fucked up. My eyes squeeze shut as I keep shouting in my mind. Get them out of my head. Get them out. I'm sure that the voice in my head is no longer shouting. It's roaring. It wants them gone, but they'll never leave me. The images of them doing it , the images of their cruel betrayal never stop haunting me. I hate what I just did, because now all I can see is them. All I can hear is them, lost in pure bliss and ecstasy, having no idea how much it destroys me. The darkness that has never left me since the day I found out about their betrayal engulfs me. I throw up so much that I don't even fucking know how the hell I'm still able to stand on my feet.